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My partner never wakes up if when I’m pacing the floor with the baby – how can I make him get involved? / FAQs / Pregnancy information from midwivesonline.com

My partner never wakes up if when I’m pacing the floor with the baby – how can I make him get involved?

This is not an easy issue to deal with. All babies have different patterns of sleep and all differ in the amount of sleep they need. The same applies to parents. The problems begin when the child prevents either parent getting the sort of sleep they need. Sleep deprivation can affect us all in different ways both physically and mentally.

You need to make time to discuss this issue with him calmly, not when your baby is needing attention too. It may be helpful to write a list of what you want to discuss. You may have some suggestions already. It is possible he is unaware of how you are feeling or that you may like help occasionally. Is he a heavy sleeper? Perhaps there is a solution that he could take over one night at the weekend to try and let you get a better night’s rest. But bear in mind he may need to function at a different level if he is working during the day. And, unfortunately, as mothers sometimes we can make our partner feel inferior as we may be better tuned into our babies needs.

Another option may be to organise a ‘lie-in’ morning at the weekend, so one day you get up and let him have extra sleep and then swap for the next morning. Could a friend or relative help out at all? Your Health Visitor may be able to offer support to you.

Encourage your partner to help out in other ways during the day – nappy changes or feeding, or taking the baby for a walk or out in the car, so you have time to do something for yourself without listening out for your baby. The more you can encourage baby and father interaction and time together, the more naturally inclined to help out regularly he may become. Try and remain calm and hopefully you can resolve this issue together.

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